If not for You.

and it’s so hard for me to breathe.

“I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the world I’m coming home
Let the rain wash away, all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes
I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the world I’m coming”

For all time

Babe
Oh, dream about me
Lie… on the phone to me
Tell me no truth
If it is bad
There’s enough in my life
To make me so sad

Just dream about
Color fills our lives
Just dream about
Someone else tonight

Babe
Oh, dream about me
On the phone
Talking quietly
I wanna be yours
Oh, won’t you be mine
Against red skies
For all time

So dream about… us
When we’re old
Just dream about
How I will let go

Hand…

Hand…

And babe
Oh, dream about me
Lie, on the phone to me
Tell me no truth
If it is bad
There’s enough in my life
To make me so sad

Just dream about
Color fills our lives

Just dream about
Someone else tonight

Just dream about
Color fills our song

Just dream about
How I will let go


 From

O&R

to

All…

Dream again.

Because you’re my sun

Always…<3

O

November.

 

Same, same, but different.

 

R

Something. Anything.

Faith can do beautiful things to the mind.
Believe.

R

Pic: Click on pic for source

Surprises, prejudices and expectations.

How bored wouldn’t I become with people if they never surprised me?
Some surprises might be considered bad. But if they never occurred, how would we ever know that we were capable of having a mind of our own. That we for once didn’t agree, or didn’t behave alike.

If we didn’t meet people with surprises different from ours, we would bore ourselves to death, becoming this gray shadow all together in nothingness.

Don’t you think?

R

Det som aldrig sades.

Tänk om jag kunde få lägga mitt huvud i famnen på världen.
Jag skulle viska alla mina hemligheter och önskningar.

Godnatt,
R

.

I better start writing. I read something very wise today about not rejecting oneself when someone else gets paid for doing it. There are a lot of people in this world that will be greater than oneself, but sometimes greatness comes in letting yourself go. So I’m starting tonight, right now, at this moment, instead of letting the nights pass me by. I don’t care how poor or rich it will be, I’m doing it with Love and passion. I’m doing it by heart, and that’s the only thing that matters.

R

Through sickness and in health.

It’s one of those days today when you realize that you’re definitely an adult now. I thought all of that was added with the package of moving away from home. Thoughts about financial issues, studies, future etc. just lined up for me. Nothing new actually but more advanced. Yesterday night I realized that I was actually taking care of myself without even noticing it. I was feeling a bit sick so I had to leave work, that fact disturbs me enormously. But I had to throw in the towel to be able to get well.

When I was younger I used to be this stubborn kid that insisted on independency even in sickness. My mother working inside the healthcare system insisted right back at me, with food, pills, visit to the doctors, advice etc. I always had her with me, and she always guided me through each test telling the doctor what it might be and what test should be done. I wanted to sink through the earth. You know that way we sometimes feel about our parents? But she was always there. Every time I was feeling irritated or embarrassed I ended up feeling safe when I got back to bed. Through my tough shell I secretly appreciated the caring my mom was giving me.

Yesterday I realized that I had given that to myself, and I asked myself if I would have wanted a different situation. Truth to be told I wouldn’t have wished for anything else. Well, yes actually, sorry… I did.  I wanted my Love to be there to take care of me. To prepare me some chicken soup while I was watching the Simpsons, for him to later cuddle up right next to me in my ocean of blankets and tissues. Despite our independency and capability to take care of ourselves I guess that even though we grow up, sickness will always bring out the needy child inside of us.

So this afternoon I’m making apple dices in the oven with cinnamon, to be served with vanilla ice-cream. The sick child inside of me believes that ice-cream will cure me and tomorrow I will be at my best.

I guess that the benefit with being an adult is the freedom of acting like a child.

R